Member-only story
Thin Privilege is Real
“Let me get that.” A man — mid-thirties, tall, lean, and well-dressed — raced to hold the door to Panera open for me.
Even though my bag was stuffed with a laptop and various other things that made it a little heavy, my hands were free. Opening the door would not have been difficult.
Still, I smiled up at him, walked through the door, and said, “Thank you!”
When he winked at me, I paused, and almost asked if he had in fact winked at me, but instead, I made my way to the table were my friend sat. It had been a few years since a man had noticed me enough to hold a door open, and five years ago, I wouldn’t have thought about this encounter. It was normal, and frankly, something I expected. Men of all ages did stuff for me: held doors open, offered to reach things on the top shelf at the grocery store, let me cut in front of them in line. I had gone through life like this, and it never occurred to me that it was abnormal for many women.
Here’s the thing: I’m 45 now, an age where women often find themselves becoming invisible in society. We’re not old, but not young. We may sag in some places and wrinkle in others, but our experiences have made us sharp and, sometimes, threatening. We know ourselves and what we will…
