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Perfectly Average Kids Are Better Than Extraordinary Ones

Mia Hayes
4 min readJan 14, 2022

When did being extraordinary become mandatory?

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

In my small bubble of the world, parents hate admitting their kids are average. Average is a dirty word. Average means they failed as parents. Average means their child(ren) will be doomed to a life of financial insecurity in a mediocre job and a *gasp* average partner.

But why? Why is being average so terrible? As an adult, I’m not expected to excel in every area of life. I’m average at math, but I can write the heck out of a novel. No one has ever asked me to perform calculus (a class I never took), and I have successfully avoided careers like astrophysicist and brain surgeon.

My life looks average: I’m a stay-at-home mom with three kids, and I happen to write books for a living. I run errands, make meals, and watch trashy TV. I wake up at 5am and fall sleep at 10pm. Somewhere in between, I hang-out with my husband and kids, and make time for friends.

Being average has given me a comfortable life with a tight-knit family and good friends.

But, it seems like average is no longer good enough.

At my middle son’s graduation last year, the principal shared a surprising number: over 50% of the graduates had a 4.0 or higher. What was once a lofty GPA goal had, in fact, become average. My husband, friends, and I were gobbsmacked. Was it grade inflation or were our neighborhood kids all gifted? I’m leaning on the side of grade inflation given that the names of the colleges flashing across the screen included very few “elite” universities.

That raises the question: when every child is extraordinary, isn’t that the new average? Are we, as a society, going to keep upping the ante until kindergartners are expected to do algebra and read Shakespeare? I certainly hope not.

I expect my own children to be average in the things they find difficult and excel at the things they like and are strong in. James and I have never bought into the belief that they needed a “resume” chocked full of extra-curricular activities and volunteer work. And guess what? Two out of my three have gotten into excellent colleges for their majors (We’re still working on Tate. He’s letting the family down since he’s not been accepted anywhere —…

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Mia Hayes
Mia Hayes

Written by Mia Hayes

40-something trying to live several lifetimes at once. Stay-at-home author, mom, and wife.

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